Written by Moses D. Yoder

1434 Words, less than 10 minutes to read

My brother Jonathan and I talked on Friday, we would meet at my parents on Saturday morning to cut up a bunch of scrap wood for firewood. It was a cool crisp morning perfect for cutting wood and we work together well as a team; everything went smoothly. We were done around noon and my mother had lunch waiting for us, good old fashioned Amish cooking. Tasty casseroles that were actually much heavier than they appeared, pickles, and peaches for dessert. After lunch coffee was ready and Jon and I sat down with dad while mom did the dishes. In the Amish culture dishes are for women. The man’s work is outside.

          My dad is opinionated. I have submitted that last sentence to Guinness Book of World Records to see if they will accept it as the most understated fact of all time. We talked about various things and then he said “You know, I have to tell you something.” I said “What’s that?” Such a simple question, two words, and that is where it started. I had no idea I was starting something that would not end until my dad died.  He said “Do you ever go east on 20 where the bypass ends?” I go through there about once a month or more. US 20 in Elkhart county used to go right though Elkhart city and they built a bypass around the city. The bypass is a 4 lane divided highway. When you go east on 20 the bypass ends around CR 17 and turns back to a regular two lane state road. Heading east there is a juncture where one of the two lanes ends and switches to one lane which continues on.

          Of the two lanes going east there is a right lane and a left lane. This life long debate centers around which lane ends, the right or left lane. That afternoon at my parent’s house it started. My dad talked about how Anna, Jon’s wife, would always stay in the left lane and continue on and she was supposed to be in the right lane to continue on. I traveled in my memory to the junction and checked it out. I replied “No, the right lane ends there; the left lane is what continues.” So we disagreed, but I knew he was wrong. My mom prefers that we don’t argue with him because then she has to hear about it after we leave. She would prefer that we just agree with him and leave it alone. I, on the other hand, call bullshit when I see it. This was one of those times. I stated my points in about 6 different ways to explain to him that the right lane ends and he stubbornly insisted that it didn’t. After a while I left and went home. I discussed it for the first time with my wife that evening while she made our dinner.

          We used to cut wood for dad but told him we would start just buying him firewood and we would stack it for them. Dad insisted on paying for the wood himself and this is the second year we have arranged to stack the wood for them after it was delivered. We spent a Saturday morning working on that then had a great lunch again then a cup of coffee and conversation afterwards. My dad eventually steered the conversation towards US 20 east. Unbelievable. We really got into it this time. Back and forth, both insisting we were right. I eventually thought well I could be wrong about it; maybe I was wrong. When I left to go home I drove west on 20 to US 33 then took the off ramp then back onto US 20 east. Very shortly I came upon a sign that said “RIGHT LANE ENDS 1 MILE”. I stopped by it and took a picture with my phone. I went on down the road and after ½ mile I came upon a sign that said “LANE ENDS MERGE LEFT”. Then I came to the junction and looked carefully. There were two arrows in the right lane, pointing to the left. Then I noticed an expansion groove cut into the road that followed the right lane; the groove in the road makes it look as though the right lane goes on and the left lane ends but all the signage says the opposite. I finally understood the dilemma. I went home and tried to get the pics off my dumb phone looking for ways to do it for several hours until finally figuring out it couldn’t be done. Meg and I discussed it again that night as she made dinner.

          It was about 3 weeks later. I had forgotten about it and decided to stop by my parents for a cup of coffee which I do sometimes. Every kid should spend some time with their elderly parents. It wasn’t long before we got into US 20 east again. A knock down drag out argument this time. I was using a 50 mm rifle and he was using his 30.06. Finally I said “Let’s get in the car right now and go over there and look at it.” He thought about that one for a little bit then refused. I can understand; he would have to get out of his wheelchair and walk down the ramp to the car and then back up when we got home. In reality though I think he was really afraid of being shown he was wrong. I discussed it with Meg again that night and we decided that if it was brought up again we would tell him that if he insisted on arguing about that we would have to leave. I have been there several times since and he hasn’t mentioned it.

          My sister Delilah moved up here recently from Florida. A few years back we were both separated from our spouses for a little bit and living at our parent’s house and naturally we bonded a little bit. We talk frequently. The other day I needed to borrow some gas cans from my parents and called Delilah to let her know I would be there. The coffee really is not that great but it feels good to set there again and it brightens my parent’s day to sit there and talk about things. When I got there my cousin Levi and his wife were there with their 6 children and his sister Lizzie, my aunt Alma, my sister-in-law Anna and my sister Delilah were all there as well. I thought that would be good because I would avoid the bullseye. Conversation flowed and then Delilah got my attention. She related how she had taken dad to the doctor the other day in Elkhart then returned on US 20 east to go back to their house. When they got to the juncture she saw the signs and moved to the left lane. Dad informed her she was in the wrong lane. She pointed at the arrows pointing to the left lane and said “I’m supposed to be in the left lane!” He said no, those arrows are there because the road curves. She said “What about the signs that say the right lane ends?” He stated “Those are not for this road, they are for the on ramp for County Road 17!” Now I had talked to her about this argument and she came to the realization that it was this intersection that he was arguing about. They went through the juncture in the left lane and she said “Well let’s go back and look at it.”  He actually agreed. She put on her turn signal to turn around at the nearest convenient spot but there was a long line of traffic coming at them and they ended up deciding just to go on home. I shook my head, realizing it would never be resolved.

          They are making changes on that road right now. Soon that intersection will be totally eliminated and the 4 lane road will continue on to SR 15. All of the evidence will be permanently destroyed. He will go to his grave knowing he is right, and I will go to mine knowing I am right. You might ask what exactly is the point, and that would be a good question. What is the best thing to do when you know somebody is wrong and they know they are right?

          To be continued?